I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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