I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
