My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
