Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
