just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
