My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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