Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
