Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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