i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
