You work out of a Hotel?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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