hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize