You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
