I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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