So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
