If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
