i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How's work?
Spinning.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
