I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize