The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
