Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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