Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
