North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
