Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
