At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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