so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
