this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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