did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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