whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
