Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
