They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
