im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
