you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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