and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
