did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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