I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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