I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
