nut hugger
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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