Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
