Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
