I'm drive I can fine osifer
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
