last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
