she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
