So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
