you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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