I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
