I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
More tranny stories later!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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