Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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