He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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