Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
