I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
