worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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