I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
