Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We left an ass print on the piano.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
