That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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