my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
