some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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