Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
