did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
