we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
