my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
