No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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