Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
