you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
